weary.

im tired of it all. sick of all of your antics. i dont know how or what to feel towards you anymore. oh pls dont make me hate you. i dont want to take sides.i really dont want to hate you. why? why do i feel weird around you? why do i feel awkward and cant meet your gaze?why? why do have to escape and get a breather? pls dont make me hate you. i try to give you chances and i try not to sit with you. i dont want to cos i know i will hurt you. i cant be with you alone anymore. i feel just not right. thats why i ignored you and talk to ppl who you hate. im sorry. i know im being mean and its so bad of me. yes i know. but im sorry. in the first place, who ask you to cling to me? i dont like it. when im hugging and crying, you want to go toilet. when im crying, yes thanks for consoling me and giving me that little gesture that mean lots. but i have a feeling that you are fake crying. i cry cos i know i will hurt you in the near future. and you being the one im gonna hurt coming to comfort me is just so bloody ironic. i dont know if this will ever resolve. im going to me drag to hell by the devils soon. im lyk feeling-less now. i dont know. i really dont know. i lay in bed thinking abt this till late last night. i was anxious at what will be the outcome today. i was hoping for a non-existant miracle. and stupid fat ass saying that in front of you is mean. plain mean. im happy that i dao-ed her. treat her nicely horh. her exact words. i dont know. you are tormenting me indirectly.why? fuck i cant help it. i dont feel lyk squishing the seed of hatred inside me anymore. i feel lyk unleashing all my inner tormenting feelings onto you. i dont know!!!!! im tired.